tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post5022491737287447231..comments2013-02-28T18:43:31.325+01:00Comments on Questing for Food: Under the gables (8/10)Avohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15808959359850145003noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-53113822624822730262010-05-21T14:54:00.275+02:002010-05-21T14:54:00.275+02:00Don't be! I'm behind on writing the last p...Don't be! I'm behind on writing the last piece... It will come out today... But It's going to have to wait til I get out of work. : p<br />Thanks for reading.Avohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15808959359850145003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-52531831641608846232010-05-21T14:46:28.987+02:002010-05-21T14:46:28.987+02:00Aha, and there I was thinking the whistle was a g...Aha, and there I was thinking the whistle was a good thing.;)<br />Now I am off to read part 9, I am somewhat behind, sorry.;)<br />xoxoZuzanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02137958790178864561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-6613029596416618662010-05-19T20:56:37.462+02:002010-05-19T20:56:37.462+02:00I like how the section ends; it feels a little lik...I like how the section ends; it feels a little like a "choose your own adventure":<br />Turn to page 32 to blow the whistle you just noticed on the ground. Turn to page 50 to try and get back to the barber's before nightfall...<br /><br />And I dig the wink to Cold Comfort Farm;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-34159170691416202612010-05-19T17:17:55.690+02:002010-05-19T17:17:55.690+02:00Howdy Sangu, just read the intriguing opening to E...Howdy Sangu, just read the intriguing opening to Echoes, will comment there... <br /><br />As for happy endings... The "happiest" ending for our intrepid journalist might be quick oblivion. I don't suspect she'll get off that easy. But that has yet to be written.<br /><br />Huh, I was wondering if it was kinda tame... I'm glad it works for you. Perhaps not being affected by this kind of story helps to write it. But then I don't creep out easily. In fact i can only think of two instances where something got to me. <br /><br />Glad you're enjoying the ride! : jAvohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15808959359850145003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-37465119125659917362010-05-19T17:05:00.454+02:002010-05-19T17:05:00.454+02:00Love the phrase 'cusp of oblivion'!
Oooh,...Love the phrase 'cusp of oblivion'!<br /><br />Oooh, this was dark and gritty and I have to admit, I would be absolutely terrified if I was reading this on a dark, lonely night. Eeek.<br /><br />I'm really hoping for a vaguely happy ending. And by 'happy', I mean our narrator survives this dreadful place.<br /><br />Love the atmosphere too!Sangu Mandannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464061265952789628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-38700453515526053232010-05-19T13:20:09.380+02:002010-05-19T13:20:09.380+02:00Aloha Jessica! Well there are a couple of things t...Aloha Jessica! Well there are a couple of things that hint as to why she should worry about the falling dark... For one thing, would you go wandering off into the forest in the dark? And we know what happened to her that last time. For another, "It seemed to be burning in the sunlight" and "As it streaked past into the darkness of the woods", I think those might be construed as clues that whatever it is prefers darkness. There was another one during Jamie's first encounter with them. : j <br />-<br />Hello again Theresa! <br />I'm finally catching up on the comments. <br /><br />Yeah, it looks like she did hear the readers' shouts! I was wondering if anyone would catch that, because my resident reader didn't and thought it was a bit weird until I explained it.<br /><br />Hmm.. About tooting, you're right, it is mild, not only that, but also a bit comical too. Wrong tone. Then again, Jamie didn't know what it was at that point. It was just something that irritating her. Hmm... I changed it and slipped a bit of alliteration in there for kicks.<br /><br />As for ending the paragraph, I'm not sure I see why. It looks ok to me either way... I wound up changing it, having a slight preference for the way you suggested. Not entirely sure about that yet. Hmm hmm... Thanks for the criticism. I really dig that my readers get back to me and help make it better! <br /><br />Where does it go from here? Into a lovely banquet in carebear land and everybody lives happily ever after, of course. ; j <br />Whenever someone asks what happens next the temptation is always too strong to say something silly. The only thing i will say is don't expect a happy ending, both my Japanese side and the format I'm using for this story forbid it. : j<br /><br />I usually have an idea for the conclusion of a the entire story before I start, and key thing for each part before I start it. <br /><br />So when I write a part it's actually just fleshing out the thing and the parts are just fleshing out the story til I reach my ending. <br /><br />For example, in this part, the "thing" I had was the meshing of the whistle to the lips of whoever blew upon it. I had that from the start. I suspect we'll learn a little bit more about it before it all comes to an end... But then, since I'm flying out to Rhode Island on Saturday, I only have two more parts to cap everything! Och... Good grief. : þ <br />Glad you're enjoying the story. (I almost feel I should call it a webcomic : j) Cheers!Avohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15808959359850145003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-79685765901221020112010-05-19T11:58:34.201+02:002010-05-19T11:58:34.201+02:00What a first post I picked to read this morning. ...What a first post I picked to read this morning. As The A.A. wrote, "Wow!"<br /><br />"I dreamt people were shouting at me not to drink a witch’s brew..." She heard the readers shouting it!<br /><br />My only suggestions would be to vary from "tooting", which sounds mild. Screeching? Blaring? And after "panicked", I'd end the paragraph and begin a new one. Let the head register before we get to the part about the whistle.<br /><br />Where is this going from here? Do you know before you write it? Can't wait!Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3518126816849670319.post-21033459743751999542010-05-19T10:09:48.889+02:002010-05-19T10:09:48.889+02:00Wow! That's great! What an amazing image you c...Wow! That's great! What an amazing image you create here: "I glanced at the headless body of Mrs. Nanaac and saw that the neck had not been cut as I had first thought: it was a grotesque rounded stub like that of a person who has lost a limb. Her high necked collar had come unbuttoned and I could see that the base of her wrinkled neck was ringed with curious red birthmarks, like odd symbols in some mysterious and evil tongue… "<br />Fascinating story. Why should he/she be worried that it's getting dark? Should I know this from previous parts? Perhaps I should read back ... hmm.Jessica Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10889900730906728317noreply@blogger.com