Flames flicker with the wind winding its way in-distinct feeling
Uninspired and disenchanted I frown, growl, and glower
My power waits in its temporarily forsworn state.
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I don't always know what you mean, but often those pieces are the most lyrical. This one is lovely to the ear and on the tongue.
ReplyDeleteUh oh. That's a sign that the writer is either playing with themselves, or that it is badly written. Which is it here? : j
ReplyDeletePoems are like jokes, once explained that aren't funny anymore... And they're never as clever as they like to think they are. ; j
I really like this. Exactly how I feel when staring at lanterns. Excited, then not so excited when I realise it's just a lantern ;o)
ReplyDeleteThere is no spoon Jessica... Erm I mean there is no lantern Neo. Agh! There is no lantern Jessica. Phew...
ReplyDeleteThen you'll see, that it is not the lantern that burns, it is only yourself.
I love the picture and poetry - but I also have to say that I enjoyed reading these comments as well! :)
ReplyDeleteHa, thanks Heidi.
ReplyDeleteI agree! My commenters rock... And you're one of them. : j
You seem pretty inspired to me!
ReplyDeleteWhat job is 'indistinct feeling' doing here, I'm not sure it pulls the same weight as the other words and phrases?
LOL. I don't care if you're playing with yourself, I still love it :P
ReplyDeleteAloha Eryl!
ReplyDeleteI do? Great! This piece isn't about me though. : j
Hmm... "Indistinct" maybe redundant because of the word "flickering" that precedes it, however it characterizes the word "feeling", which bridges the tangible and the intangible. Also, they both serve a phonetic purpose: I like the way those words sound there... But I've added a hyphen that sorta hitches distinct to the rest of verse... It now pleases me all the more on several levels. Thanks! : j
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Heya Ezo! Erm, I mean Zoe. : j Glad to see you've recovered.
I'm not playing by myself. You're here, aintcha? Lets go play together. There's a bowling alley up the street. They have bowls of fruit cocktails there that'll bowl you over. : j
Oh hey, wow. Happy BIRTHDAY Zoe! : j
ReplyDeleteAh, the paperthintransparency of skin as I age. It does hold the indistinctness of my disenchantment. This one speaks to me.
ReplyDeleteI read all your last posts. I like the Sewers and Symphony the best. I like the way the guy talks. I have lived in the US for decades but I would not know how to write like this to make it sound natural – you do that very well.
ReplyDeleteFlames flicker...emotional turmoil...vulnerability...I like this.
ReplyDeleteHeya Kass, of the paper thin skin, but larger than life heart. There are always bike rides and swinging from branches to toughen the skin to disenchantment. But you know all about that. : j
ReplyDelete---
Salut Vagabonde, nice to see you about and posting/commenting after your trip! Next time feel free to comment on the post that your liked. : j
I think I may have lucked out on the PI... We'll see if I can pull it off again.
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Aloha Paul. Glad to hear it! : j
I think I'm just not enlightened enough. I'm sure it's me, not you.
ReplyDeleteEnlightened... Funny! : j
ReplyDeleteI'd say the opposite. I know that my verse doesn't speak to everyone.
I often happily obscure a simple message with layers of meaning and images that creates something I imagine feels to some people the way modern art feels like to me.
Try this on for size:
"I feel emotions and inspiration strongly within me. They change with circumstances that characterize my life. But for now I have to go to work and I'd rather be writing."
It's incredibly hard to make something so short so effective, so kudos to you for that, Alesa! As you know, I'm not the most ardent poetry-lover, but this was lovely and the lanterns are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sangu. It's pretty nifty what you can do in photoshop (re: lanterns).
ReplyDeleteI guess be of a lazy bent making short things comes naturally. ; j