July 23, 2010

Okurokami - part 3

Teruro had barely taken ten paces from the hut when an arrow streaked from within the hut straight towards the back of his head. Immediately followed by Takeko charging forward with a spear. Teruro spun and laughed with an expression of unbound glee on his face as he sliced the arrow in mid air with his sword.

He roared “Good! Now come at me!”

Before the two pieces of the split arrow had hit the ground Takeko’s spear was flashing towards Teruro’s heart only to be bashed away by a flick of his katana.

In an instant they had regained their distances and were facing each other in their ready stances. They gauged each other’s skills and tried to read what move the other would next make… The intensity of their gazes was as extraordinary as the visible contrast in their characters. Even in his ready stance, he projected the fluidity and looseness of a dancing flame, something inherently natural, neither good nor evil but intransigently dangerous; she, on the other hand, seemed still like the surface of a frozen pond, in absolute control of herself, as if mastering her body and emotions through the power of unshakeable reason and certainty.

The rustling fronds of bamboo swayed in the breeze that carried a stray leaf on its meandering way between them.

He sheathed his sword in one liquid motion and chuckled softly.
“You are not afraid. You attacked without warning using a bow, and charged. You understand.” There no reproach in his voice, only surprise and respect.

She rested the butt of her spear on the ground and nodded, “Of course.”

“Go get what you need, we have a ways to go before nightfall.”

She walked back into the house and returned a few minutes later carrying her sheathed spear and a small pack on her back to which her unstrung bow, a small bundle of arrows, and the small box containing the square of black cloth were affixed. Teruro got up from the rock he was sitting on and started walking. Takeko followed, leaving behind her the only home she had ever known.

“You don’t seem too distraught about leaving this place.”
“I’m not. The time for me to be here has passed and so I am leaving…” Showing the first sign of any kind of emotion since he first met her she added, “I enjoyed my time here and I will miss my master’s friendship, but there is a time to lay roots as there is a time to cut them.”

Teruro nodded and walked on.

-
Several hours later, dusk was settling into darkness. The two had eaten their meagre meal and were facing each other from either side of a small campfire.

“I noticed you took the box with you. Why bother?” he asked.

She regarded him with puzzlement, “You really didn’t see anything special when you looked into the cloth, did you… Are you sure that you’re really a human being and not a fox or a raccoon in disguise?”

He grinned crookedly and replied “I’ve been told often enough that I’m inhuman… But I can tell you this, I was born from a human mother and that my father was quite human as well. What was I supposed to see in the cloth?” 
“Other people witness the truths they hide from themselves in the cloth…” she said quietly.
“Hmm… And what do you see there?”
“I see the truth as well, but of things that have happened or that are likely to happen.”
He rubbed his unshaven chin thoughtfully, “Is that so… So you have visions?”
She silently nodded.
“What did you last see?”





 Picture from an Alaskan fishing tour company.

11 comments:

  1. Ooh, a dancing flame and a frozen pond: will she snuff him out or will he melt her; or, will he melt her and then she snuff him out?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The fight scene reminds of Hidden Dragon, Crouching Tiger. There's lots of fun stuff here. Hope some screenwriter doesn't steal it off the internet.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Or Eryl, perhaps the opposing forces will complement each other? It is a core element of eastern and more specifically (to this case) Japanese philosophy.
    I suspect the western approach wold be that he thaws her and she cools him and that they both come away kinda neutral and live neutrally happy ever after. I still have no idea where this is going...
    Tempted to a Šahrzād role on Takeko. : j We'll see! If y'all keep on reading that is!
    Oh hey, Eryl: the reason I mentioned the magnetic poetry in my comment on your blog was because all of my guest are drawn to it, regardless of whether they like writing or not and compose funny or pretty sentences on my door.
    -
    Aloha Kass. It does? Heheh, interesting. I have ambivalent feelings about that.
    I'm glad you're getting images from this... I wasn't sure to what extent I should describe things. I suspect most of the people who will read this don't really know what Japanese period clothes and houses look like. The temptation was to write something hyper descriptive, but that would have move away from the pulp I'm writing into some kind of fictionalized history lesson...
    Shrug. If it gets stolen it gets stolen.
    It would be their loss.
    Glad you're having fun! That's become the main reason I write these now. A while back you asked me what I was writing for... I answered "primarily to entertain myself, and secondarily to entertain others." At some point, it shifted...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't believe she attacked him without warning. But he didn't seem to mind.

    I wonder what visions she sees.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful picture in the end; there is something so infinitely comforting about a fire.
    Now I am excited to learn what she did see.;)
    Have a great weekend,
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with Kass, the fight scene did have the 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' feel to it - it was very exciting! This was great, Alesa, I'm really looking forward to seeing these characters and mysteries unravel.

    "The intensity of their gazes was as extraordinary as the visible contrast in their characters" - this line bothered me a little because from what we've seen of them already, there is no visible or obvious contrast in their characters; I don't think we know enough of their characters yet to accept such a statement without being puzzled.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This was terrific - packed with action and emotion. Loved this: "Even in his ready stance, he projected the fluidity and looseness of a dancing flame, something inherently natural, neither good nor evil but intransigently dangerous" ... you have a way with description!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really enjoyed the tale so far and can’t wait to see the next episode. It has a lot of elements in it that make one think.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Theresa: Heheheh! Not only did he not mind, he was flat out delighted. Visions coming right up later today! : j
    -
    Hello Zuzana. It is a nice picture, it's from a company that organizes fishing tours. Hope you had a great weekend!
    -
    Heya Sangu! I find it interesting that Ang Lee's movie has come up so much... That really isn't how I'm picturing it action wise. Decor wise, maybe excepting that everything is Japanese of course. For me the action is here is sudden, ultra brief, and violent. The action scene takes place in a couple of lines in the text and a couple of seconds in story world (an arrow flies pretty quickly over a couple yards).
    As usual, your comment made me pause and think. I love how differently we perceive text.
    Of course I see your point, and I can't argue with what that line inspired in you. But for me, I make a statement and the immediately explain why I made that statement in the following line.
    Would it be better for you if I removed the line break after that part and merged the two paragraphs?
    -
    Hello Julie! Wow, glad you liked that bit of description. I'm laying ground work to keep away from a western good vs evil dichotomy.
    -
    Salut Vagabonde! Makes you think that makes one think that sometimes pulp can fun to read? Glad you're enjoying the ride! : j

    ReplyDelete
  10. I see what you mean, and yes, of course we perceive things differently. I think it's just that you as the characters' creator know them so well, it's probably easy to forget that we don't know them as well. :-) Yes, I think it might fit better if you merged the two!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nodnod, I'll do that.

    Incidentally, for this specific point, my in house beta reader, my "Steve" I guess heheh, didn't feel any hesitation or confusion at that part. I wonder if anyone else felt what you did, most likely some did. I'd be very curious to know how many and to what degree. : j
    As ever, thanks for your comments Sangu.

    ReplyDelete