Long ago, in an impoverished yet noble family, a little girl was born with long hair as dark as clouded nights and so glossy it would reflect every star above when the clouds parted.
At first her parents were delighted: being born with hair was considered an excellent omen. They laughed and imagined she would grow into a beautiful young woman who would marry favourably. But as the weeks turned into months, people began to notice that their personalities had changed. Where once they had been relatively pleasant and open people they had become secretive and short tempered, they turned visitors away be they friends or family, and no one could see their baby daughter.
It was the nursemaid who was the first to realise that they had gone completely mad when they ordered her to put the child to the blade. The nursemaid bought some time by claiming that such a deed must be accomplished at the darkest hour, and promised she would execute their order that very night. As soon as she had a chance she swathed the child and escaped, but her departure was quickly discovered… The nursemaid used the last seconds before the raving parents caught up with her to hide the child in the tall grasses in the ditch next to the footpath.
Just in time to save the child from the raving parents who promptly slew the nursemaid. The mad couple argued over the slain woman’s corpse and returned to their home. The next morning, a villager who had come to deliver vegetables found them dead, they had killed themselves. The local priest was called in who claimed that a curse was at work and that the home should be burnt to protect the villagers from it.
And so, dutifully the villagers set the house afire and put the whole affair behind them. Little thought was given to the child and those who did dismissed it as probably having been the first victim to her parents’ insanity.
No one knew that a blind vagabond had found the infant child crying in the ditch and had taken her away.
The next part will be up Wednesday.
Oh good. Another continuing story.
ReplyDeleteHeya Kass. Is that a good thing?
ReplyDeleteOh well, I guess we'll see how it develops...
I have too many stories hanging. I'm going to end this one before starting another.
Maybe I should use a classic Japanese story ending and expedite the whole thing: "and so they all died. Life goes on". ; j
Creepy. I am doing cinematography in my mind. Looks damn good I might say. Will you put me in the credits?
ReplyDeleteThis is a powerful beginning to a story full of promise, madness and crazed beginnings, a sort of Oedipus but with a clearer history ahead, though a mad past behind. I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Dark, mysterious, and I'm dying to know what's behind all this. Should I be picking up any hints/references to other established myths and fairytales?
ReplyDeleteThis is just the kind of story I love to read, Alesa, so you've made me very, very happy today :)
About the word 'pretexted'... I wonder if that's the right usage given the context? I stumbled over that a bit, it was the only place where I didn't just flow through this piece.
Heya Annie! Sure you can, if you look closely you'll be in the credits as "Resident optimist and mistress of cinematography"! ; j
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Hey Elisabeth! Wow, you already have this all mapped out! I don't think I'm going in that direction, but I'll do my best to keep you entertained! I think it might veer towards pulp though...
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Nope, no specific references... but I was speaking with my beloved beta reader and discussing where the story might be taking place. My first idea, before "putting pen to paper", was to have it germanic... Honsel and Gretel setting style... But as I was putting it down I quickly found myself lazily gravitating towards a setting I like and am comfortable with... But as for specific stories, nope, as far as I know, this is as original as a given thing can be.
Glad you're enjoying it! : j
Yeah you're absolutely right. Using pretext that way is french.
I'll go fix that right away, thanks!
Oh, very dark indeed. At least in parts. But the child survived. The story had a bit of a Sleeping Beauty over it (the original brother Grim version), but only to begin with.;) Looking forward to Wednesday.;)
ReplyDeletexoxo
Thanks Zuzana! Reminding you of the Grimm brothers, however fleetingly, while writing a fairy tale is an excellent compliment.
ReplyDeleteI guess this is a bit dark, what with all the madness and killing.
There will be much less of that in the next part- I think...
I got unexpectedly busy with chores this weekend and so it's looking as if I'm going to be writing by the seat of my pants again. : j
This is fascinating... now I really want to read part 2 of the story! (It's reminding me a bit like how Moses started his life) :)
ReplyDeleteThis is great! I can't wait for Wednesday. Your words inspire me to find time to write. I'm seriously looking forward to the rest of the story. You've captured your audience with a story told in such a way that you can picture elders in a tribe sharing it to younger generations by firelight. To think that no one has even been named yet, either! I'm loving this!:)
ReplyDeleteYou're quite right, Tracy. Moses cast in the river... Fairy tales are just rife with found babies aren't they! ; j Ya'll have really put the pressure on me to be funny in "really interesting and creative way or Martin will blow my brains out." ;j
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Wow Heidi, that's high praise! Thanks!
It's common enough in fairy tales for the characters not to have any names. I guess I better hit up my virtual elders for the next part of the story. : j
A blind vagabond, excellent!
ReplyDeleteOh, how sad! I would swoop that baby away and crown it with petals and bathe it with tears and warm it with my hair. Sad, but glad that the cutie pie was saved from lunatic parents who don't deserve the love of a beautiful child.
ReplyDeleteHeya Eryl! Blind vagabond saves the day. Yay! ;j
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Hello Elizabeth. Perhaps there is more to this that might seem at first glance? : j Maybe the child is Damian!
Just saw there was a Part II, so I rushed to read Part I. This is vaguely like Snow White, but much more mysterious and sinister. Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHey Theresa! Yeah it started like a fairy tale and curved into fantasy! Glad you're enjoying it. : j
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