May 10, 2010

Under the gables (4/10)

   Branches whipped at my face as I ran through them. I’m pretty sure I hit some trunks in my blind flight through the darkness. The unnatural laughter seemed to float around me dogging my every step. I have no idea how long I ran, but it felt like hours… Something large and uneven abruptly interrupted my flight. I tripped and fell forward expecting to crack my skull on a tree or a rock… but instead, I was blinded by the pale dawn’s light reflecting off the waters below me. Before I hit the water I glanced squinting over my shoulder and glimpsed a flying white shape darting back into the darkness of the trees. Then came the shock and the splash Blue Ridge lake’s cold waters. I quickly swam to the surface and although I saw no trace of what I had glimpsed, I heard the unearthly sound of pained and frustrated keening fading in the distance. As I shivered with shock, exhaustion, and cold I wondered what I should do next. I swam to shore and pulled my self up onto the muddy bank using a tree’s root…

   And gagged at the sight of that which had accidentally saved my life, for though I had no idea what it was that had chased me, I was convinced it was dangerous and I had before me the proof of its lethality: I had tripped on the mangled corpse of a white tailed deer. I guessed that this was the source of the death scream I heard during the night… I fought down my revulsion at the sight of the gore and blood and approached the carcass with the idea of trying to identify the cause of its demise. Granted I had no experience as a forensics, but I thought it safe to assume that the big still bleeding palm sized bites that had been taken out of the body to have been the cause of death. It took me moment to identify what those bite marks reminded me of, piranha bites, but ten times bigger… I wondered what could possibly have done this. I struck upon the idea that it had been wolves that had chased me and that the eerie laughter I had heard was the product of my overworked imagination twisting the howling of wolves into something much stranger. I managed to almost completely convince myself with this rational fabrication. After all, nothing else made sense.

   Knowing that the houses I was supposed to find were on the banks of the lake I figured that if I kept to the lake to my left I would eventually come onto one of them, and there I could ask for help.

Dawn at the loch in Galloway Forest Park

15 comments:

  1. Aw, corpse of a dear with bite marks. I would have, as we say in my language "taken my legs on my back" and run the hell away from there.;)
    It is sunny and warm here, but I swear I felt a chill pass over me reading this.
    Great narrative.
    Have a lovely Monday,
    xo

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  2. My dear sometimes has bites marks too... But that's another story that I'm not telling. ; j

    "Taken your legs on your back"? Interesting! In french they say "Prendre ses jambes à son cou"=> to bring one's feet to their necks. I wonder if there is a common root for the expressions.
    In English there's much more pedestrian "to beat feet"...

    Glad that you're still enjoying the story chills and all.
    Thanks, and a lovely Monday to you as well.

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  3. Oh, that was horrible (in a good way, that is, as opposed to 'oh, horrible piece of writing :)). I can't help feeling terribly sorry for the poor deer, and wondering whether its mangled corpse is foreshadowing the narrator's fate.

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  4. And I thought I needed help. Your character here needs it more.

    I often wonder how characters in novels can go on living in the worlds their authors create for them.

    Great stuff, Alesa.

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  5. This reminds me of Stephen King's book "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon." I hate the book, it dragged on about nothing and was anything that wasn't enticing. Rather, I should say that your story makes me think of what I expected the book to be like according to the back cover. It's as if you transformed his snore of a novel and made it into something exciting and worth reading. I really like what you're doing.

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  6. And before me was the proof of it's lethality...

    I love it when my perceptions are proven correct, and worth the worry I suppose.

    Polyanna surely missing :)

    Love
    annie

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  7. @Sangu: It was quick (ish) death... It died for noble narrative cause. Maybe it is foreshadowing... Maybe not. I suspect that whatever is going to happen will be less swift and more vicious.
    Thanks for reading Sangu. : j BTW, horrific or horrorshow (if you don't mind nadsat)are good words too. ; j
    -
    @Elisabeth: We already know that it gets worse. Thanks for the compliment! I wasn't sure how well this genre would be received by this blog's readers, but I figured that those who didn't like it would skip it.

    You need help? Anything I can do?
    -
    @Eryl: Heheh... Maybe you're just being hugged? ;j
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    @Soleil Ha, thanks. I haven't read it. I'm not fond of King's books. Except for that fantasy one he wrote with Peter Straub, which was ok.
    The style I'm using is actually one that also inspired King tremendously, maybe that's what you're seeing. : j Though, people have accused it of being a snore where nothing much happened too.
    I'm trying to avoid that trap, the different pacing is helping I think...
    -
    @Annie: Heheh... Glad to oblige. Polyanna has just gone out to get a refill on her extra-strength Prozac prescription.

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  8. Well that's not where I thought it was going! Sheesh! I must remember to breathe next time I read your posts!

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  9. Heya Talli! Where did you think it was going? : ?

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  10. Yikes, Stephanie King - you're killin' me here....

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  11. That's ok, I know IRS! Erm... HTML? CQFD? Ah yes, CPR! I got you covered.

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  12. Holy crap I have missed a ton! Luckily I back tracked and was able to catch up and my oh my how intriguing! You had me hooked all throughout, I was looking for the next installment!

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  13. Sounds like a scene out of an action movie. I could see everything so vividly. That person needs to get out of there. It's not worth $50.

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  14. Heya Jen! Glad to hear the story has gotten your attention. I'm putting them out one a day. I barely finish before putting it online, in fact I've been catching some typos after putting it online, the price of immediacy I suppose. : j
    ----
    Nihao Theresa, you're right. It does sound like an action flick, and a bad one at that. On the bright side, there isn't any CGI...yet.
    While it isn't worth 50 bucks (51 if you count the one he tripped over), where do you think he should go? How should he get out of there? : j

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